She Stated, He Stated: Dad and mom pushing prenups and speaking cash along with your honey will be relationship stressor

Dear Lori and Jeff,

My boyfriend and I recently got engaged. We never really talked about finance and kept almost everything money-related separate. We share the cost of living even when we eat out. After the engagement, he told me that his parents insisted that I sign a prenuptial agreement as they seem to have a lot of fortune and so did he, unknown to me. He insists that he trusts me enough to marry me without a prenup and that everything his parents do. I’m a bit overwhelmed by the whole thing. It’s not that I’m against signing, I’m just not sure what it means and how it will affect our relationship.

Signed,

Prenup fear

Dear PA,

Lori and Jeff: There are actually three key themes in your question: how you should feel about getting married, your lack of communication about finances, and the blurred lines between your fiancé and his or her parents.

Lori: Marriages Are Increasingly Used in the US Millennials get married later in life after they have had time to amass some savings. In addition, many have divorced parents and are very conscious of the possibility of their marriage ending. Marriage advocates tend to separate the emotions of marriage from the business aspects of living together. They just see marriages as convenient. And yet I understand how being presented with one can sting. We want to believe that when we get married we will become a team of generosity and equality that will last forever. Marriage can emphasize “mine and yours” over “ours,” and when “yours” is significantly smaller, you may begin to hold grudges. If the marriage is going nowhere, changing your perspective can help. Instead of feeling it against you, remember that this man you love has what is rightfully his own.

Getting married can also be a great opportunity to find out how you deal with money as a couple. Before signing, make sure you have a common vision of finances over the long term. Take the time to sit together and explore:

• What feelings, fears and stories are associated with your handling of money?

• What are your current financial situations (savings, debts, spending patterns, goals)?

• What are your expectations of how each of you will contribute? What happens if a partner loses their job or falls ill? What if you decide to have children? Will either of you stay at home for a while and if so, how will this contribution be recognized financially?

• If you support your husband in his work, how will this be reflected in the event of a divorce?

• How are decisions about spending and saving made?

• What common goals would you like to plan (home, retirement, children, vacation, car)?

Jeff: One of the most significant dynamics we’ve found in our work with premarital couples is how their parents’ views and perspectives can affect the relationship. This is particularly clear when it comes to finance. Parents often throw in their opinions (both openly and passively-aggressive) and want what is best for their children. But when these preferences create conflict in the relationship, it is time to set stronger, healthier boundaries. The challenge is that it can feel like we are choosing between our parents and our partners, and our loyalty is often absolutely required. Your fiancé may feel trapped in this type of scenario of trying to please you, but also feeling pressure from his parents to grant her wishes.

With his situation in mind, there are some difficult questions you need to ask about your perception of his request. Do you feel like the two of you are on the same team, or does it feel like he’s on his parents’ side on issues related to money and financial planning? Do you feel like a priority and believe that he would be ready to challenge his parents to stand up for you and the relationship?

Jeff and Lori: Money is one of the top relationship killers and tends to get more deadly in silence. Now is the time to start thinking about what is getting in the way of talking about money and what each of you must do to have transparent conversations about how to proceed.

Lori and Jeff are married, licensed psychotherapists and couple-to-couple coaches at the Aspen Relationship Institute. Submit your relationship questions to info@AspenRelationshipCoaching.com and your query can be selected for a future column.

GOP Pushing For Arizona-Model Election Audits To Unfold Nationwide — However State Officers Already Maintain Discovering ‘No Proof’ Of Fraud

Top line

A Republican-led Michigan Senate committee investigating the 2020 state elections has found there is “no evidence of widespread or systematic fraud” A number of GOP state officials are now pushing for more controversial privately held audits across the country.

Ballots cast in the 2020 general election in Maricopa County, Arizona, will be cast in a … [+] Exam on May 6, 2021 in Phoenix.

RELATED PRESS

Important facts

A report Michigan Senate Oversight Committee, released Wednesday, rejected allegations of widespread fraud in the November election, including several right-wing conspiracy theories regarding electoral fraud, despite senators saying there were “serious weaknesses in our electoral system.”

The senators exposed a theory alleged voting machines swapped votes in Antrim County, Michigan – Senator Edward McBroom wrote that the allegations would continue to be viewed as “an utter waste of time” – and countered allegations of Dominion voting machine fraud promoted by the MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell.

Michigan’s Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson previously announced in March that more than 250 local audits in the state “confirmed the integrity and accuracy of the 2020 general election”.

Officials in Georgia checked the state paper ballots and found they “confirmed and confirmed” the state vote count, and state and county officials in Wisconsin and Maricopa County, Arizona, have also checked their voting machines and determined that there was no fraud or cases of tampering or “tampered” machines.

Nevada’s Secretary of State Barbara Cegavske – the state’s only nationally elected Republican woman –examined Allegations of electoral fraud in the parliamentary elections and in an April determined report that the GOP’s concerns about electoral fraud in Nevada “do not constitute evidence.”

Pennsylvania conducted a statewide, risk-limiting review of its votes that “provided strong evidence of the accuracy of the vote count,” despite Spotlight PA Remarks that while the audit confirmed that Biden received more votes than former President Donald Trump, it was not detailed enough to confirm the accuracy of the results.

Big number

32%. That’s the percentage of US adults who still believe that President Joe Biden won the presidential election for election fraud despite a lack of credible evidence, according to a Monmouth poll carried out from June 9th to 14th.

Ultimate quote

“The committee can confidently claim that it has thoroughly investigated numerous allegations of illegal activity, improper practice, fraud, vote theft, or any other description that would cast doubt on the integrity of Michigan’s 2020 election results,” it said the Michigan senators wrote in their report. “Our clear conclusion is that citizens should trust that the results represent the true results of the ballots cast by the people of Michigan.”

Key background

Trump and his GOP allies have repeatedly asserted that there was widespread voter fraud in the presidential election, and continue to advance those claims, even as more than 60 GOP lawsuits challenging election results fail in court and tests repeat accuracy the vote count confirmed. Federal and state officials, including former US attorney general William Barr said there was no widespread fraud in the elections, and a Statistical analysis The Battlefield States’ results also found “no evidence of fraud, manipulation or uncorrected errors”. The electoral fraud allegations have prevailed despite the lack of evidence on the right, sparking a new wave of controversial state levels Voting restrictions in the name of “electoral security”. Republicans have now also clung to a partisan and privately financed choice exam takes place in Maricopa County, Arizona, which has the Biden administration said could potentially violate federal law by removing ballots from the control of poll workers. The audit will not change the state’s certified election results, but critics warn that partisan recount could further undermine public confidence in the election results.

What to look out for

Audits like the one in Arizona that is going on now just before the end– could soon spread nationwide as lawmakers from states such as Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Michigan, Oklahoma, Tennessee, and Utah have traveled to watch the exam and have expressed an interest in potentially conducting their own investigations. “You’re definitely writing the playbook here in Arizona to get this type of audit, I don’t want to call it an audit, I want to call it other states,” said Arizona’s Secretary of State Katie Hobbs, a Democrat NBC news. “And it’s dangerous.” Wisconsin Congregation Speaker Robin Vos announced a new survey of the state’s election results in May and the Republicans are pushing with one effort Investigate ballots in Fulton County, Georgia, and other efforts could potentially be made in other battlefield states such as Pennsylvania and Michigan.

further reading

GOP Investigation Finds No Election Fraud In Michigan, Finds Many Claims “Ridiculous” (Bridge MI)

Voting machines in Phoenix were not manipulated, audit results (Forbes)

The Nevada Secretary of State finds no “conclusive support” for allegations of electoral fraud by the GOP (CNN)

Wisconsin Republicans hires ex-cops to investigate elections as Arizona exam sparks new investigations nationwide (Forbes)

“No Evidence” of Election Fraud in Battlefield States: Statistical Analysis Finds Trump Continues to Make False Claims (Forbes)

80% of Americans are in favor of the Voter ID rules – but less afraid of scams, poll results (Forbes)

Cape Worry space leaders pushing for extra grant cash as movie business booms

WILMINGTON, NC (WWAY) –

After a slow couple of years in Hollywood East, the lights, cameras, and action are back.

“This year, all the signs suggest that this is likely to be the best year in a decade,” said Johnny Griffin, director of the regional film commission.

Johnny Griffin, director of the regional film commission, said the productions had already spent more than $ 65 million in the community in the first three months of this year. Several productions are currently underway, including a new film that hit town last week. Griffin said preproduction for Along for the Ride will begin in the coming weeks.

“A lot of companies felt it,” said Griffin. “You let us know that you definitely look forward to seeing it again.”

Susi Hamilton is the chairman of Governor Cooper’s Advisory Board on Film, Television, and Digital Streaming. She said the numbers for the entire state were even better. 12 projects have currently been approved for government funding this year.

“We are ready to have $ 191 million in direct spend from manufacturing companies in North Carolina,” said Hamilton.

What brings the production companies back?

“The first question for you to consider for each state you are considering is what is the incentive situation?” Said Griffin.

The $ 31 million government incentive program is helping, but could that work out?

“Obviously, since we’ve seen an increase, all we have to do is make sure we have enough funding to move this forward,” Griffin said. “We don’t want to tell the productions that we no longer have any capacity.”

Hamilton said the grant money is unlikely to run out as the state overwrites excess grant money every year. Meanwhile, Senator Michael Lee is proposing a new bill that will add $ 34 million to the program.

“It would be great if it succeeded, and I think that would send a really strong message to business people that North Carolina is open to business, but if it doesn’t succeed, all is not lost,” said Hamilton.

She said there is enough money right now but Griffin wants to make sure they don’t go out in the future.

“We have the momentum we’ve been building for a couple of years,” said Griffin. “We just want to be able to move this forward at this point.”

The goal is to keep the lights, cameras, and action in Wilmington.

The state film grant program will be renewed in July. Hamilton said if Senator Lee’s bill were passed by then it would add an additional $ 34 million this year.