Expensive Abby: Each time buddy calls from jail, he asks for cash

LOVE ABBY: I have a former high school classmate who I’ve gotten pretty close over the years. He was there for me when I was deepest, and I was there for him too. He lives several hours away, but we talked almost every day, in addition to social media.

I stopped hearing from him a few months ago and his social media profile went dark. I had a bad feeling so I googled him and was shocked to see he was arrested! Even though it wasn’t a violent crime, it was still terrible. He called me several times from prison and protested his innocence – always asking for money. Abby, I live from paycheck to paycheck. Even if I had extra money, I wouldn’t be comfortable giving it to him.

I feel hurt and used. Part of me says I have to end the friendship; the other part says he needs friends now and it is not my place to judge him. I refused to take his recent calls because I really don’t know what to do. Your thoughts are appreciated. – BLINDED IN PENNSYLVANIA

LOVE BLINDSIDE: This person hasn’t used you before. The next time he holds out his hand, answer the call. In doing this, you make it clear that you can offer moral support, but you cannot give him money because you are living from paycheck to paycheck. After that you are not allowed to hear from him anymore. But if he continues to ask, take a big step back and realize that that friendship has ended.

LOVE ABBY: My husband and I have been together for three years. He recently returned for a two-day trip to his home state, 1,000 miles away, to retrieve some items from his late mother’s estate. He’s been out of work for most of last year due to the pandemic so I’m a little at odds with something he said to me when I called to ask when he’ll be home. He said he found a job and decided to stay there and work for a few months in order to save enough money to pay off most of our debts.

He didn’t consult me ​​before making that decision. He told me that he had worked out a COVID-safe shelter with his sister and aunt. The kind of work he’s going to do there, he could be doing here where our home is. I don’t want to discourage him, but I am amazed that he would take a job 1,000 miles away. What if something happened to me or our animals? When I told him I didn’t agree with his decision, he told me to be glad he was no longer unemployed. How should I handle it? – FAR AWAY IN MISSOURI

LOVE MORE: Your husband shouldn’t have taken a job 1,000 miles away without first talking to you. That is, what is done is done and you have to let this play. Nothing stands in the way of your visit. Fortunately, you and the animals are fine. If circumstances change, he can quit the job and come back at any time.

When the time comes, say hello to your debt-free husband. There will be plenty of time for both of you PERSONAL to figure out what made him such a disruptive decision if there were similar jobs in your own community.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For what teenagers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and how to interact with their peers and parents, see What Every Teen Should Know. Submit your name and mailing address and a check or money order for $ 8 (US money) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

Expensive Annie: Our good friend is deep in debt, requested us for cash and hasn’t instructed her husband. What ought to we do?

Dear Annie: My wife and I are in a pickle. We are friends with another couple, “Josh” and “Vanessa”. Vanessa happens to be a teacher at our children’s school. One day I picked up my offspring and started chatting with them. I noticed that she was sad and asked her about it. Then the locks opened.

She started telling me about how she ran up credit card debt and she said Josh didn’t know about it. Josh is under a lot of stress and she doesn’t want to tell him. I comforted her and asked how much, thinking maybe a few hundred dollars.

You: “17.”

Me: “A thousand?”

You: (nods slowly)

I lied and told her it was okay. I also told her to tell Josh. She agreed and said she plans to do it next month after he hits a deadline on the job. Then she asked if my wife and I would loan her $ 500 for the time being so that she could pay the minimum. I told her we would talk about it.

So now we have two questions. Shall we give her the money first? Second, should we ever tell Josh sometime? If we told him, Vanessa would hate us. But otherwise Josh would hate us after he finally found out. What would you do? – couple in a riddle

Dear couple: put this one off.

Don’t give Vanessa the money. This would only enable her to maintain her spending addiction.

Don’t talk to Josh. Let Vanessa be the one to tell him. She’ll have to do it soon anyway if you don’t loan her the credit card minimum.

I know you want to help, but defend yourself. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions and has an expressway for people who get right in the middle of their friends’ relationship problems.

Dear Annie, backseat drivers are an absolute nuisance to me. I’ve been driving a car for 20 years and have never had an accident except once when my side mirror hit a mailbox and I never had a ticket except once in New York State.

I am not an aggressive driver. I keep people in my lane. I’m not trying to drive fast, but I’m busy (and often late) trying to keep up with the other cars around me.

But the way some friends react when they’re in my car, you might think I’m Danica Patrick. And my husband is the worst. He keeps making comments: “Stop dragging.” “Slow down.” “You’re driving really fast.” And when he’s not voicing his thoughts, I can see him preparing for the impact by grabbing the handle over the car door.

The constant feedback from people about my driving gets on my nerves. How can I give them the confidence to enjoy the ride when I’m behind the wheel? — Makes me mad

Dear Car Driving: Well you can start by being a better driver because I doubt anyone who drives your car is overreacting. They’re sending your passengers into survival mode and they’ll burst out in self-defense and not pick on you.

Consider signing up for a defensive adult driving lesson. Many insurance companies even offer discounts for attending such courses.

At the very least, I suggest that you reconsider the basics of Driver ED: adjust your mirrors (while the car is still parked) to avoid blind spots; Leave a length of car in front of you for every 10 mph, etc. And get out early so you are not in such a rush to get seats.

The backseat drivers like to hand over their keys, so to speak, when they see that you can get them to safety.

Dear readers, today’s column originally ran in 2016.

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Send your questions to Annie Lane at Dearannie@creators.com. To learn more about Annie Lane and to read articles by fellow Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.


Expensive Abby: My boyfriend is dependent upon his ex for cash, meals, day by day dialog

LOVE ABBY: I’ve been with my friend “John” for a year and a half. After 20 years of marriage, he was divorced for two years when we got together. He told me that he and his ex “Jessica” were still good friends. I thought it was okay since they are raising their child together. I have children of my own and I understand.

I gave up and moved two hours to move in with John. Then I realized that he was always talking to her and texting her. Then I noticed that all of the food containers in the refrigerator were hers. I realized how much he depends on Jessica. John told me they got divorced because they split up.

As we discussed it further, John admitted he was still dependent on Jessica for everything from dinner to paying his bills to daily conversations. They are both in relationships and they continue to act that way. Your “child” is now 18 and has graduated from high school. Am I wrong if I am stuck in this relationship? John doesn’t seem to want or need me. – CAUSED IN MONTANA

DEAR CONFUSED: To say that John is overly dependent on Jessica would be an understatement, and Jessica seems to like it that way. You are not wrong if you prefer not to move forward in this relationship; You are intelligent. For you to move forward, Jessica would have to step aside – and it seems like neither she nor John are open to it.

LOVE ABBY: I’m a petite 53 year old woman who trains four to five times a week so I’m in very good shape. I often do manual work instead of hiring someone or using equipment. I see it as an opportunity for additional training. At some point I may have to take the easier route, but not yet.

When people see me doing things that are considered hard work, they assume I need help. For example, today I bought 30 blocks of cement to start building a wall. Several men asked if I needed help. I politely declined, as I always do, saying they were thoughtful but I don’t need any help. They replied, “No problem.”

A short time later it started to rain. A woman came by with an umbrella and offered to help, and I replied just as politely. She put down her umbrella and started lifting the blocks into my car anyway! I said, “No need. It was sweet to offer you this, but I get my morning workout. “She was offended and snapped,” Sorry to ‘impose’. I tried to help, ”and trudged off! This happens a lot.

I feel bad after these encounters. It seems like I am perceived as ungrateful, but if I need help, I will ask for it. How can I convey this better or do I just have to accept the help? – HARD TRIALS IN OHIO

LOVE TRIES: If multiple people are offended when you decline their offers of help, there may be something wrong with the way you convey your message. Sometimes it’s not what we say, but the words we choose or their tone of voice that can be off-putting. My advice is to discuss this with some of your friends and see how they react.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For a collection of Abby’s most memorable – and most requested – poems and essays, mail your name and mailing address and a check or money order for $ 8 (US money) to: Dear Abby – Keepers Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

Pricey Panci: Find out how to Fashion Restricted Version Chains

Honolulu (KHON2) – Celebrity stylist Crystal Pancipanci shows how to make a fashion statement with her limited edition chains for masks, sunglasses and bags.

About PANCI Statement Chains #PS Chains:

Limited collection

Fashionable, functional, light, strong and durable acrylic statement necklaces

Travel / TSA friendly

Convertible must-have accessories

Easy to wear as a statement chain necklace, fun bag handle, travel accessory, glasses holder and / or mask holder

Made from: Acrylic

Length: 25 inches

PANCI closure: Attach the fasteners to each ear loop of the mask and wear it around your neck like a necklace. Its light acrylic design doesn’t take anything away from your mask. Easily attaches to any bag, the bag handle instantly adds a touch of modern style.

You can buy your own #PSChain in the new one @ShopPANCI what is LIVE

New website & blog: www.PanciStyle.com

Expensive Annie: My spouse didn’t thoughts spending my cash, however now that she makes greater than me she has an issue sharing

I’ve been married for 20 years. When my wife and I got married, I was the sole breadwinner. I had a very good job and had a pretty comfortable life. My wife stayed home and raised our children. In 2008 technological advances made my work obsolete. I had to start over and reinvent myself in a different industry. We struggled financially for years; it was difficult and weighed on our marriage. Today I have a full time gig and I make decent money and a side business that is fine. My wife has a full-time job and a part-time job, and she makes almost double mine.

My problem is this. In all the years that I have been the sole breadwinner, my salary has been “our money”. Now that she makes the lion’s share, her salary is “her money”. She expects me to pay my expenses with my own salary. For example, I recently had an expensive car repair done. She bought me the money, but she wants me to pay her back. It doesn’t matter that my car was our only car for a long time and that she added half the kilometers and the wear and tear herself.

I just feel taken advantage of – as if she has forgotten the sacrifices I made all those years ago. It really makes me angry. I mentioned it to her before and she got better for a while, but now her attitude is back to what it was before I mentioned anything.

Annie, I’m not charging. I’ll pay my share. Only sometimes, when there is a major unexpected expense, do I need a little help. I don’t feel after everything I’ve done and gone through together that I should be embarrassed about asking for money. What should I do? – Husband of a forgetful wife

Dear HTAFW: Adjustments to settings require regular coordination. Gently remind her of your previous conversation and let her know that you noticed the problem reappeared. She was receptive to your feedback last time; it will probably be this time too. This is one of the most valuable goods a couple can share: a willingness to listen to each other and try to change accordingly.

And to distract answers from people who think a married couple should always pool their entire fortune: Yes, it can be difficult to merge lives without pooling their finances, but it is possible and more and more couples are choosing to do so. Some have found a good balance with a “you, me, us” approach – sharing a bank account for household expenses and utilities and things like car maintenance, while each has a separate bank account for discretionary expenses. You and your wife might consider trying this for more harmony.

Dear Annie: After reading the letter about office workers trying to address a coworker with body odor, I wanted to let people know what worked for me after struggling with embarrassing BO for decades. I shower daily, wash with lever soap, shave my armpits every day, and apply witch hazel on my armpits when they are dry. I also spin through four different deodorants (three of which are for men, even though I’m a woman). It took several years to do this every day before I no longer had a problem. – Stuck with him

Dear Stuck With It: Witch Hazel, which can lower the pH of the skin and make bacteria difficult to thrive, is a smart idea here, and it can be kept in a spray bottle for easy spraying, no cotton balls or pads needed.

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Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book – with favorite columns on love, friendship, family, and etiquette – is available in paperback and e-book. visit https://www.creatorspublishing.com for more informations. Send your questions to Annie Lane at Dearannie@creators.com.


Pricey Graduate, Right here’s What To Know About Your Cash

© Unsplash / Unsplash

High school graduates and college graduates face a plethora of challenges. This is especially true if the economic uncertainty persists, as many products are scarce or not available at all. However, there are also some options that previous generations didn’t have.

Check out: Costco, Amazon, and 16 other companies that have raised their minimum wage to $ 15 (or more)
Find out: That was the US minimum wage for the year you were born

Most of the time, the usual money recommendations still apply even in these uncertain times. Both high school and college graduates can benefit from following solid money advice and practicing good money habits.

We asked some of the best money experts to share their tips that new graduates can follow to complete money challenges.

More tips: What college graduates should do with their money now

High school graduates: accept free money first

Graduating from high school is an exciting time in everyone’s life. The graduation itself is not only exciting, but also the beginning of a new chapter in college for many. Money may be the last thing you think about, but there are a few important things to keep in mind.

Be careful: 35 useless expenditures you need to cut off your budget now

First, accept any free money. This doesn’t mean someone is handing out free piles of cash on the street (although that would be nice). No, “free money” in this case refers to scholarships and grants.

“Accept free money first,” said Annette Harris, finance coach and founder at Harris financial coaching. “When applying for financial assistance, you should first accept scholarships or grants. This money does not have to be paid back and does not bear any interest. If credit is required, only accept the minimum amount required. “

High school graduates: borrow less money

Most of us have to borrow money to go to college. Tuition fees have increased rapidly, which increases the need for credit. Still, you shouldn’t borrow more money than necessary – another point Annette Harris emphasized.

The story goes on

“If you receive the loan offers after completing the FAFSA, you do not have to take the entire loan amount. You can accept partial loans, the entire loan, or decline the loan if scholarships or grants can cover the costs. “

Stop it now: The 17 Biggest Budgeting Mistakes You Make

Needless to say, you will need to borrow enough money to cover your tuition fees. But if the loan turns out to be more than you need, don’t accept the full amount. After all, you have to pay it back – with interest.

University graduates: start saving early

Again, those early years are the ones when you might want to think about anything but Money. It is important to do so, however, because getting on the right track early in life can lead to financial security later. And because of the compound interest, there is no substitute for an early start to retirement provision.

Helpful: 50 simple things you should do to save money

Dennis E. Nixon, Chairman and CEO of International commercial bank, stressed the importance of saving early. “While it may seem a long way off, it is cheaper and more manageable to put money aside for retirement sooner rather than later when you start in your early 20s. You can start using your workplace benefits like a 401 (K). “

Nixon also pointed out the importance of using an employer match if your employer offers one. You can call this “free money”. That’s because you don’t have to do anything additional to take advantage of the benefits (other than signing up if it doesn’t happen automatically). Without a doubt, employer matching is one of the best tools you have at your disposal to start your retirement plan.

More tips: 37 Life Hacks That Will Save You Money

Graduates: Start a Budget

Apparently everyone is at least vaguely aware of the benefits of budgeting, but nowhere near everyone is actually doing it. For many of us this is a mistake. Kevin Walker, editor at CollegeFinance.com, gave a glimpse of how many people are budgeting for college. CollegeFinance.com surveyed over 1,000 people to understand the financial mistakes they believe they made as college students, entry-level professionals, and first moving out, and what they learned from those “mistakes,” especially in light of the COVID-19 pandemic. “

The result? Only 47% of respondents said they used a budget while studying. “Around half of young people admitted spending more than they realized, investing too little and saving too little early in their careers,” said Walker.

This is exactly why budgeting is so important. It will help you get to the heart of the problem and come up with a plan on how to spend your money more responsibly.

Budgeting 101: Here’s how to create a budget to live with

High school graduates or college graduates: Live at home

This tip may be relevant for high school graduates or college graduates, depending on the situation. This applies to both high school graduates attending college near where they live and college graduates who are just starting their careers. Moswen James, registered agent at Get help with taxes and accounting, pointed out the advantages of living.

This move might not be the “cool” or fun thing, but the financial benefits can more than pay off in the long run. For those just starting college, you can avoid room and board. College graduates may not have to pay rent after college (if their parents aren’t charging rent). In the latter case, you’ll have a lot more cash to pay off and invest your student loans.

More from GOBankingRates

Last updated: June 11, 2021

This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com: Dear Graduate, This is what you should know about your money

Pricey Abby: Household cash issues could maintain daughter out of the school of her goals

DEAR ABBY: My daughter was accepted into a college of her choice in Pennsylvania that had a lot of scholarships. Our payout is roughly $ 6,000 if she gets a Stafford loan or works this summer to help with the $ 4,500 that the loan would be. My husband insists on community college she doesn’t want to go to. He constantly cites the fact that our house is under foreclosure and that he owes the IRS money for his business, which is why things cannot be.

I think our children should be able to do things when they are functional. I encouraged all of them during school to do their best and follow their dreams. My husband didn’t offer help with homework or anything else. All the compliments they received for extracurricular commitment and excellent grades, he would always say that it was me – and rightly so, but it was them too.

Our firstborn wanted to go to a certain college by the way, but his father convinced him to go to community college by promising that he would pay for it and get him a car. He never taught the poor kid to drive. I offered professional driving lessons, but my son refused.

Now my husband is using the same tactic on my daughter. Should I send her to pursue her dreams against his will? You cannot suppress it forever. – ENCOURAGE MOTHER IN NEW YORK

DEAR MOM: With the house in foreclosure and the money owed to the IRS, your husband is right to be concerned. Sometimes the best plans go wrong because of circumstances beyond our control, particularly the volatile business climate we have experienced.

Even so, I think you may be overdue to have an open conversation with your daughter about what she might need to do to complement the scholarships offered by the college of her choice. When she is ready to work through the summer and possibly beyond – and is considering taking out a student loan of her own – she should be given the opportunity to live her dream.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for 15 years. We used to be inseparable. He was my best friend.

We have rarely spent time together since our daughter was born nine years ago. Most of his free time he spends woodworking in the basement. I spend my time upstairs or outside. I don’t think he enjoys my company any more.

I told him this, and he says it wasn’t intentional, and he loves me now more than ever. But to me it feels like we’re growing apart and I’m very lonely. Because my daughter is the one I spend most of the time with, she is the one who suffers from my moods when I am sad and upset about him. What can we do to be friends again instead of just parents? – It is missing in OHIO

LOVE MISSING: Explain to your husband that you are lonely and need more from him than you have had since your daughter was born. Start by exploring childcare options, then plan some adult-only dates for the two of you. This works for a lot of other couples and can help both of you renew the excitement that was there when you were child free.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact love abby beneath www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.