You really have to applaud Tottenham Hotspur.

They let us go there, I almost thought they were going to get one of the most perfect results of the last day.

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Kane used what could turn out to be a farewell goal for Spurs against Leicester

To the untrained eye, it looked like Spurs was walking towards him Leicester with the full intent of winning and securing their place in next season’s new, exciting and perhaps prestigious Europa Conference League.

But for those of us who like to think we know a thing or two Tottenham conveniently took the media narrative of being “Spursy” to her advantage and awarded two penalties.

These were well hidden by Jamie Vardy, meaning Leicester got their wish for Champions League football and Spurs what they wanted – without wasting their time knocking around a ball in another meaningless competition on Thursday night.

Even better? Defeat would allow it arsenal, naively won 2-0 in Brighton and slipped to seventh place.

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Gareth Bale scored twice on the last day of the season

Oh the way Ryan Mason and the boys had to grin in the second half as the perfect events unfolded – Harry Kane imagined finally achieving something meaningful in his time with the club.

And then Leicester realized they were going to be in the top four and went on together, and I think that’s the technical sporting term, all by itself.

After being in the top four all season until he was briefly out of the game against Chelsea during the week, Leicester managed to get back on track by about 20 minutes – only to implode in impressive style.

I mean, they bottled it from a great height last season, but that was a new level.

You have to feel a bit how Kasper Schmeichel – the Wembley hero – hits a corner in his own net and ends the season there and then.

It was a disappointing day for Leicester

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It was a disappointing day for Leicester

Brendan Rodgers needed Chelsea to do them a favor, and boy didn’t he? Imagine going to Villa and losing when all you need is one positive result to secure Champions League football for the next season.

Of course, this could be the ultimate double bluff (or something, I’m confused now, let alone you) from Tottenham

Did they suddenly know that Rodgers might suddenly be interested in taking them on next season by killing Leicester’s dreams of the Champions League? If so, I salute Daniel Levy once again for his sheer genius.

Kane got the Golden Shoe, of course, and Gareth Bale chose his final minutes in a Tottenham shirt to actually look like a Premier League footballer again.

Imagine if Florentino Perez had seen this and stumbled upon a new sly plan for the summer. Bale has apparently made up his mind but is keeping it to himself.

Will Tottenham stars Harry Kane and Gareth Bale be at the club next season?

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Will Tottenham stars Harry Kane and Gareth Bale be at the club next season?

I think the modern slang is “fraud” – and I wouldn’t have been surprised to see that word and Thomas Tuchel in the same tweet if Chelsea had managed to finish fifth. Fifth, losing the FA Cup final and likely losing the Champions League to City?

I’m sure Frank Lampard could have done it. OK, that might be driving it – and it didn’t actually land that way, but it was very, very close.

Can we all get off the Thomas Tuchel train now? I’m preparing for an almighty fall if they topple Pep’s lot next week but he doesn’t win a final and he got Chelsea to the point where it was 100% in their own hands and the match had to win – and needed Spurs, of all people, Spurs to save her. Are we sure he’s all of that?

Thanks to Aston Villa – Bertrand Traore, one of many who were turned down by Chelsea, turned out to be decisive when many other Chelsea men of greater repute decided not to put on a show.

Thomas Tuchel thanked Tottenham for helping happy Chelsea reach the Champions League

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Thomas Tuchel thanked Tottenham for helping happy Chelsea reach the Champions League

All the chaos at King Power and Villa Park has distracted us from a very efficient job of the former champions in Anfield.

Jürgen Klopp’s Liverpool picked up and came in third. Sadio Mane has done enough to mean that next season he is unlikely to be the striker threatened for his place.

Any other day, the real story would have been that Pep Guardiola sent Sergio Aguero at the perfect time to say goodbye to Premier League football.

City’s record scorer was on the pitch within minutes, scoring two of the most classic Aguero goals imaginable.

Thank goodness Everton was the opposition, otherwise it probably wouldn’t have happened. Imagine if you could take part in a title race earlier in the season.

Aguero now has the most Premier League goals for a single club and is on his way to repair the self inflicted damage in Barcelona.

Aguero ended his Premier League career in style when he won another trophy wearing a Man City shirt

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Aguero ended his Premier League career in style when he won another trophy wearing a Man City shirt

Are Newcastle fans still digging up Steve Bruce?

He got you 12th, folks, an impressive performance in one of the more challenging seasons the club will ever have. I mean, imagine Liverpool losing two of their best players for a long time and seeing them get along.

West Ham seems really grown up now.

There was no drama, just a few heart-pounding moments, none of the great things at the track and field stadium when the Moysiah led the Hammers to sixth and European place with a 3-0 win over Southampton.

Everyone is right to talk about his repair work on Jesse Lingard, but what about Pablo Fornals?

David Moyes would like to keep both Jesse Lingard and Declan Rice at West Ham for the next season

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David Moyes would like to keep both Jesse Lingard and Declan Rice at West Ham for the next season

Juan Mata may have scored his last goal for Manchester United the day another academy kid scored his first goal.

United ruined Nuno’s goodbye to Wolves by winning (again) away with a dubious penalty (again) and winning without falling behind – that must be a good sign ahead of Wednesday’s Europa League final.

Nicolas Pepe showed his talents in a win against Brighton

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Nicolas Pepe showed his talents in a win against Brighton

Leeds ended their season in style, beating Big Sam’s West Brom 3-1 in Allardyce’s last Premier League game (probably not considering – Watford, December 2021 – you heard it here first).

Sheffield United defeated Burnley in the match that cared nothing in the least – even the fans.

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Agbonlahor reluctantly compliments Leeds on the season after making “naive” and “mythical” claims

Angry

James Maddison cracked for “shameful” antics when Leicester dropped out of the top four

LIVING

Messages transmitted: Kane at the latest, Guardiola drops Aguero notice, Konate complications

SCHNITZER

Neymar receive “one of the worst penalties you will ever see” when PSG lose the Ligue 1 title

ELITE

Ronaldo is angry that Napoli almost took Juventus’ place in the Champions League

IRON MEN

David Moyes gives a big update on the future of Jesse Lingard and Declan Rice

Stories of the highest order: The slightly ironic recap of the 2020/21 Premier League season book will be available on Amazon in the not too distant future. Keep your eyes open