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Send up to 25 entries to wapo.st/enter-invite-1432 (no capital letters in the web address). The closing date for entries is Monday, April 26th; The results will appear in print on May 16 and online on May 13.

The winner gets the Clown performance, our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a copy of “The Witch Demands a Retreat,” which Melissa will sign and send to you.

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The Style Conversational: The Empress’ weekly online column discusses all new competitions and results. See this week, published late afternoon on Thursday April 15th, at wapo.st/conv1432.

The podcast “You are invited”: A dozen half-hour episodes, including dishes of the Empress and the Tsar as well as tips from top losers. See bit.ly/invite-podcast.

Laughing shelves: ScrabbleGrams neologisms from week 1428

Week 1428 was the eighth episode of The Tile Invitational in which we provide a list of seven letter “racks” from the Internet ScrabbleGrams syndicated word game and ask them to create new words and phrases using five, six, or seven letters. So many losers looked at AAGHRSW and saw HAR SWAG which of course is a bunch of loser magnets, mugs, bags, disembodied clown heads, etc.

4th Place:

ACELNPU> UNCLAP: To stop applauding in embarrassment when you find it’s nobody else, look around to see who the “idiot” was. (Eric Nelkin, Silver Spring, Md.)

3rd place:

AENPRRT> REPANT: What to do immediately after succumbing to the sins of the flesh – especially if you hear a noise at the door. (Deanna Busick, Nashville)

2nd place and the podcast coffee cup “You are invited”:

CEIPRST> CREPIT: Not yet fallen apart. “Oh no, Grandma is very crepit. ‘Arrhythmia’ is just the name of their dance team. “(Frank Osen, Pasadena, California)

And the winner of the clown performance:

AAEPPRT> PAP ART: My gynecologist is so skilled that she doesn’t just take a “smear”. . . (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.)

EEHMORT> MEH: Honorable mentions

AABCELN> ABC LANE: This is how you get to Sesame Street. (Bird War, Larchmont, NY)

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AABGINT> BANGIT: If you can’t decide between “damn” and “—- it”, that’s enough. (Jamie Martindale, Samut Prakan, Thailand)

AABGINT> ANTIBAG: Someone who holds 20 items from the supermarket in their hands instead of paying for the nickel. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn; Bill Dorner, Indianapolis; Tanja Cilia, Santa Venera, Malta)

AAEGNPT> PANGATE: A widespread scandal that grips an entire administration. (Sorry, I can’t think of an example.) (Jeff Contompasis)

AAEGNPT> NAPGATE: A leaked photo of the president nodding off at his desk will be remembered as the Biden administration’s biggest scandal. (Jamie Martindale; Bill Dorner)

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AAEGNPT> NEATGAP: The difference in order between you and your significant other. “With my ex, the void was an abyss lined with dirty socks.” (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)

AAEGPSS> GPaSs: The guy who insists his phone knows better than you how to get to your house. (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)

AAEGPSS> AGE PASS: What you give Great Aunt Erma with a sigh when she starts the cutting comments. (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

AAEPPRT> PEATRAP: Like a hole, but finer. (Richard Franklin, Alexandria, VA.)

AAEPPRT> PRE-TAPA: The Big Mac You Eat Before Hitting Small Plates. (Jim Derby, Gettysburg, PA.)

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AALNSTY> ANTSY AL: Nervous Nellie’s partner. (Jeff Loren, Seattle)

AALNSTY> LA NASTY: You heard about “Boston Strong”? Well . . . (Todd DeLap, Fairfax, Va.)

AALNSTY> ANALYST: A professional who can explain why the first thing you saw on this ScrabbleGram was ANAL STY (Kate Baughman, Arlington, Virginia, a first-time offender).

ABDGINW> WINBAG: Someone who can’t stop talking about the choice that was “stolen” from them. (Lawrence McGuire)

ACELNPU> UNCLE PA: Rogue character in “Hamlet of the Ozarks”. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

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ACLOOPR> LOCO APR: What the dealership offered at its “Crazy Cinco de Mayo Sales Event !!” (Dave Silberstein, College Park, Md.)

ACLOOPR> POOL ARC: The course of your garden investment from the family novelty to the meeting point in the neighborhood to the foam-green frog breeding pond / the money pit. (Lawrence McGuire)

ADINSTT> STANDIT: The hardest part of a job: If you can’t, quit. (Ward Kay, Vienna, VA.)

AEEINTV> AIEE-TV: 24 hour horror films, bungee jumping and roller coasters. (Ken Gallant, Sequim, Wash .; Leif Picoult, Rockville, Md.)

AEGMNRT> GRAMNET: As your kids call Facebook. (Milo Sauer, Fairfax, Va .; Mark Raffman)

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AENPRRT> ENTARP: What to do if “Entomb” is not possible immediately? (Deanna Busick)

AENPRRT> PERTNAR: Almost. “I am pertnary by resigning myself to your lip.” (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

AENPRRT> PRATNER: Stan, to Ollie. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

AOPRSTW> WAP-O’s: The hot new cereal recommended by Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion. (Jamie Martindale)

AOPRSTW> AWSPORT: Kindergarten soccer or the puppy bowl. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, VA.)

BELMORT> BRO-MELT: A “grilled” cheese sandwich that is heated in the “press” of an armpit. (Chris Damm, Charles Town, W.Va.)

CEOPRTT> PET ROT: An extremely fleeting novelty toy made up of googly eyes glued to a ball of garbage. (Duncan Stevens)

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DGIOPRY> DIG-PRY: A curious question that is also an insult. “So what did you pay for the interesting, um – I think that’s a wallet?” (Ellen Ryan, Rockville, Md.)

DGIOPRY> GOD-PRY: “So tell me: have you been saved?” (Roy Ashley, Washington)

DGIOPRY> PODIGY: An amazing student in a remote school who actually learned something during the pandemic. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

DGIOPRY> GOD-RIP: Do you know how they told you as a kid that thunder is the sound of the Lord’s bowling? Well it is not. (Danielle Nowlin)

DGLNOUY> UNDOGLY: Frustratingly untrainable like a cat. (Adie Peña, Makati, Philippines)

EEHMORT> METR’OH! Abbreviation for “I knew I should have just driven to work today!” (Mark Raffman)

EEILNNT> ENLINT: What my dryer does to my socks. (George Thompson, Springfield, VA.)

EFHIRSY> HEIRSY: A belief that horrifies your parents. “George Jr. was written from the will after admitting he voted for him in 2016 AND 2020.” (Richard Franklin)

ILMNOOT> LOIN-TO: A love booth. (Tom Witte)

ILMNOOT> MILTOON: “Paradise Lost”, the Classics Illustrated version. (Jim Derby; Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg)

And finally: ACLOOPR> CORPOLA: Useless objects that are decorated with advertising. “She calls it ‘Bob Staake Limited Edition Artwork’, but aren’t these magnets really just cheap corpola with the Washington Post logo on?” (Jon Gearhart)

And even vice, from too many people to appreciate: ACELNPU> PUNACLE: What Invite Candidates Want To Achieve.

Still running – deadline Monday evening, April 19th: Our competition on what will change after the pandemic. See wapo.st/invite1431.

DON’T MISS ANY INVITATION! Login here You will receive an email from the Empress once a week once The Style Invitational and Style Conversational go online every Thursday with links to the columns.