Perhaps the most remarkable thing about the whole thing was that it wasn’t all that remarkable: another Tuesday. Another billion dollar businessman who pays to launch himself into space.
But the sight of Jeff Bezos in his beige cowboy hat and blue spacesuit (wearing a custom-made Omega Speedmaster over his sleeve as if he were Buzz Aldrin), high-five astronauts, and then pondered the experience in depth, echoed in a way who have favourited Sir Richard Branson’s Wild Ride Didn’t.
It took Amazon just 27 years to grow into a $ 1.8 trillion company. Depending on the fluctuations in the stock market, Mr. Bezos is either the richest or the second richest man in the world. But he has become this without attaining a corresponding mysticism.
Unlike Tesla boss Elon Musk, he did not host “Saturday Night Live” and did a surprisingly good job. Unlike Apple’s co-founder Steve Jobs, he did not show the Americans the power of a minimalist mock neck. He didn’t go into pandemic quarantine with Jay-Z like Twitter’s Jack Dorsey.
All of these guys arouse enmity, especially Mr. Musk and (even posthumously) Mr. Jobs. But the lines for their products show the emotional connection people have with them. You invented FOMO. Mr. Bezos only used it and embodies it.
We watched him go to the gym, get biceps, and buy motorcycle jackets. The problem was never the fit. They seemed to be accomplishing the opposite of their intended purpose, namely, telegraphing the elegance of indifference.
We read about the end of his marriage MacKenzie Scott, a novelist turned mega-philanthropist, and the beginning of his romance with Lauren Sanchez, a former correspondent for the tabloid entertainment show “Extra!”
It seemed like a cliché.
We gasped at the intimate text messages he sent her.
They were just as goofy as if he’d asked Siri for advice on sexting.
We looked at the pictures of his four-story $ 96 million real estate investment in the Flatiron neighborhood.
It seemed soulless, like something Marriott would have designed if it were to build its version of an André Balazs hotel.
However, since he’s worth around $ 200 billion and has few people who are likely to tell him the truth about what he looks like with a cowboy hat on his phallic rocket, for example, he’s become Dorian Gray’s bullshit, a locus classicus and fun. House mirror, through which a sizeable contingent of normally white men approaching middle age and not obsessed with Ryan Gosling’s looks should see for themselves, if we can get honest enough to admit the mistakes we’ve made with unfortunate style choices.
The name of Mr. Bezos has an onomatopoeic quality.
A dentist with a Lamborghini is a Bezos. This also applies to anyone in the commercial real estate industry who, just after their first extramarital affair, begins to shave areas of themselves that should not be shaved.
The day I decided to take off a fanny pack and a pair of bootleg Dior shorts, I turned into a bezos.
Pretending to be an oenophile makes a lot of men a bezos. That does too Decision that running a financial services company is not enough; what you really need is a part-time job at the weekend as a tropical house and EDM DJ
If you’ve returned from your first trip to Burning Man at the age of 50, you’ll step dangerously close to Bezo’s territory.
If you’ve tried hiring a singer like Jennifer Lopez, Stevie Wonder, John Legend, Patti LaBelle, or Christina Aguilera for your child’s wedding, birthday party, or religious gathering, you are a bezos.
Bezoses are more likely to be rich than poor, but using Affirm at the checkout counter has helped many less fortunate guys reach Bezosdom.
It’s hard, but not impossible, for a movie star to be a Bezos.
Mark Wahlberg, athletic a diamond-studded Patek Phillipe sports watch that would be a joke in a Paul Thomas Anderson film starring Mark Wahlberg is definitely a Bezos. So does Ben Affleck when he has taken off his shirt and we can see the huge phoenix that he has etched permanently on his back.
Bezoses wants to believe that the time spent on pelotons over the past year is enough to warrant ordering a Speedo through Amazon. Or that when we were a good few years old for our knees we could still start skateboarding, or fly off in a rocket ship and become a Butch Cassidy for the skies, with a hat (and boots) to match.
Here’s the problem: Butch Cassidy was named Butch Cassidy by theft. A Bezos compensates with a credit card.
Shortly after descending to Earth, Mr. Bezos went to a press conference where he said, “I want to thank every Amazon employee and customer for paying for all of this. Seriously.”
It was an odd admission from a guy whose subordinates are protesting their working conditions and meager delivery wages. But what did everyone expect from a space cowboy in blue satin? He is the largest bezos in the world.